Conservative Justices Don’t Want To Be John Roberts’s Friend Anymore

(Read the full article here: Conservative Justices Don’t Want To Be John Roberts’s Friend Anymore)

OMG, you guyz, yer SOOO not going to believe this! So, like, remember two weeks ago, when we thought John Roberts was gonna be all like, “the individual mandate can suck it,” and instead he went, “the individual mandate is totes kosh?” and everybody just FREAKED THE FUCK OUT?

Well, I know the Supreme Court is all like secretive and shit, but this chick Jan like totally knows the people to talk to, and she said that her friend said that Antonin, Clarence, Sam and Tony are SO PISSED at John Roberts right now. Cuz they thought John was their friend, right? Like, when they started hanging out with him in 2005, they were totes BFFs, writing “Federalism” in chalk on the sidewalk and running away from girls cuz they got icky parts. But then John just up and said, “I’m gonna go play lesbian softball with Ruth and Sonya and Elena and that dude 4% of Americans think is Harry Reid, screw you guys.” And he tried to get Tony to go along with him, he was all, “Tony, you should totally come play lesbian softball with us,” and Tony was like, “No way, broseph. Dudes stick together. We were gonna invite you over to watch DVD commentary on 24, but instead you can go play with your sissy friends.”… Read More


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